You've found it. The best of the worst poems Ever

On the nuances of Bonobo Poetry:

Alonzo speaking to Raka in Black Swan Empire:

 "He’s a natural at the bonobo style Iambic Pentameter.”

I placed two fingers on my forehead in an attempt to understand what I was hearing. “What is the bonobo style Iambic Pentameter?”

“You see the standard style uses a line made up of ten syllables, stressing the even numbered ones. The bonobo style, however, does not limit the number of syllables in a line, and instead, stresses both the odd and even beats.”

“That’s just shouting every sound with no pattern.”

“You’ve heard bonobo poetry then?"

 Some outstanding examples:

“Nobody understands the voices in my head.

I listen to their words with feelings of dread.

When I make a sandwich, I use three slices of bread.

I sleep standing up not in a race car shaped bed.

My big guns are filled with bullets made of lead.

I hate everything and I hope you get slowly eaten by a herd of rabid badgers with halitosis, ringworms, and irritable bowel syndrome.”

- Filbert Kummstein Blackheart

Black Swan Empire

“Of all the things I’ve lost, there’s one that stands out,

When I stop to think about it, it makes me want to pout,

The thing I miss the most in the darkest of night,

It’s not my mind, although that’s up there too,

It’s the way I used to smile before I met you!

I hope you get your head caught in a mining drill,

Buzz, whirl, splat! Don’t stop until,

There’s nothing left, you evil horrible bitch! Die! Now! Do it!”

- Denton Morrow

 Black Swan Planet